When I’m too afraid to be stuck, yet I don’t want to grow either
Growth is uncomfortable, yet we need it to survive. Do not afraid to grow slowly, but be afraid of standing still. Do not afraid to face pressure and hardship, but be afraid with the thought that you only have your own self to depend on.
Have you ever chose a wrong yet big decision but you can’t go back? I have.
Have you ever feel like you can’t go on, but you can’t run away either? I have.
To overcome the wrong decision so it can go back to the right path, takes more than effort.
To overcome the hardship and the pressure so that the problems will be solved, it takes more than courage.
Many coaches, motivators, tons of inspirational quotes, and articles have told me the one word that I’m very well aware of so that I can survive through all of these life matters. Grow.
But, tonight I just realize how hard it is, to grow- to get out of my comfort zone.
To grow, we must be brave enough to know our weaknesses, wise enough to gather ourselves into a proper mindset, strong enough to be consistent and persistent.
I thought I am mature enough to face it, but I have this kind of fear deep inside me.
“I don’t think I can do this.”
“Is there any other way except this?”
I try to run away but I have nowhere to go. The problems keep haunting me, my life has become messed up, my mind can’t focus well. I have to end this properly. All my time has been invested in this so-called wrong decision, it’s all or nothing, just like a binary number. 0 or 1.
I should end what I start. I have to work hard for what I deserve. Don’t I? Don’t you?
“Don’t run away. Solve it, dear. Do whatever it takes to finish what you (deep inside) know that it should be finished. Please. Please. Endure it and solve it. Don’t be afraid to grow. You know you will be a better self after this, right?” said my inner soul, the good one.
I take a deep breath, look at my surroundings, look at myself. Can I do this? Universe, please don’t let me give up on something that I actually can overcome.
